Wedding Must-Haves and Must-Have-Nots

I’m officially one of the last single girls standing in my group of friends from high school. In fact, out of the seniors in our church youth group, five of us remained un-married. Three girls, two guys. Sufficient to say, I’ve been to a few weddings, seen a few pictures, and have conjured up some ideas of my own on how I’d like things done, whenever that day may come for me. ($50 says I’ll be last one out of us five singles) I’ve expressed previously, about a year ago, my fear of all-things wedding. It’s funny how that fear turned into complete peace not long after I wrote those two posts. I’m not scared of weddings, or marriage, but I do believe that when it does happen for me, it will be focused completely on the marriage, NOT the “party” or the money involved.

On the way to my friend Lisa’s bachelorette party last year, I felt completely out of place. Not only was I the only girl who wasn’t a bridesmaid who was at the celebration that began in my apartment, but I was also the only one who wasn’t already married or engaged. I rode in the back of another girl’s car texting my mom, asking her, “Do you and Dad have money already set aside for my wedding?” She was taken aback by my question, and said, “No… Why are you asking this?” All that was going through my head as I sat in the backseat was, “there is absolutely no way I can do any of this. How do I avoid all of this, but still get married?” Then, the idea came to me. City Hall. That is the only way I saw fit in my head to avoid all of this bridal shower, wedding shower, bachelorette, toilet-paper wedding gown, mumbo-jumbo. My mom told me that they would decide how much my budget at that time, and that I would seriously regret not having an “actual” wedding.

So, when I do have a wedding, whenever that may be, I’ve decided on a few things that absolutely will not take place:

  • no bridal shower. no games, no toilet paper gowns, none of that.
  • no cupcake gowns. no poofs. no trains. something simple.
  • no sauntering down the aisle to “here comes the bride.” Canon in D, please.
  • no getting married in a church. I love God, but I don’t want a traditional wedding inside of a church.
  • probably little to no wedding party. Just my sister. (this may change, of course)
  • no lighting of the “unity candle.”
  • no generic vows. we write our own.
  • no electric slide at the reception. I’ve been toying with an all-Beatles themed music for a while.
  • no champagne toasting. We don’t even like champagne. Wine me.
  • no removing of the garter. No garter, for that matter.
  • no tossing of the bouquet.
But what will I have, as of now?
  • a bachelorette party in New York City. Or maybe Vegas.
  • a simple, yet still elegant dress. I’m currently obsessing over this dress, but I’ve been feeling as if it may be a little too “promy.” 

And that is all I know, for now. Stay tuned.


6 thoughts on “Wedding Must-Haves and Must-Have-Nots

  1. I’m with you on most of your “don’t” list, but I think the bridal shower thing may be out of your hands, ya know? My boyfriends sister already told me she’s throwing me one, and we aren’t actually even engaged yet. But, NO toilet paper dresses, for god sakes. I’m in my mid-thirties. Girl, please.

  2. You’re funny, Tay, and definitely, as you always do, have opinions!!! Go for what you (and your fiance…) want–more power to you!!!

  3. Oh my gosh! Thank you for agreeing with me! All my friends are getting married and I drift between feeling absolutely left out or feeling completely awesome that I have the ability to do whatever I want. Although, I’m currently even lacking a boyfriend, so that’s probably what makes the two extremes. I imagine if I had some sort of commitment, I would be a nice happy medium.

    Your “don’t” list is pretty much spot on for me except the cheesy things. I want a cheesy bouquet toss. But wedding showers? I just want to wear a nice sundress and eat brunch with my friends.

    I love your “do” list except I’d like to add “do have an open bar.” Fantastic.

  4. Lol, oh Taylor. To accurately represent my bachelorette party- Tiffany was there and was not a bridesmaid, and both Kelli and Jen were also not married or engaged. So, you were def not alone! 🙂

    I’m a traditionalist- but even so I agree with some of your “must have nots.” Like the cupcake dress or “here comes the bride.” But no bridal shower?? I must veto this one immediately. It’s FREE STUFF! 🙂 Believe me, you’ll want this stuff fo sho.

    The bridal games….I def understand lol

    P.S. Thanks for the link 😀

    1. Okay, so I guess I should have said, “me and one other person” were the only ones that were NEITHER a bridesmaid or already married/engaged. Forgot Tiffany was there!

Please, challenge me!

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