Characteristic #3 of a Healthy Relationship

3. They are dynamic and evolving.

I really like this characteristic. Although this seems like an obvious one, I think it’s often a characteristic that a lot of people don’t realize or take seriously enough.

Relationships are always so exciting in the beginning. It’s a fresh start. It’s a new person. It’s someone new for us to learn more about and for them to learn more about us. We do new things that this person likes, we try new experiences with this person. Hardly anyone fights because again, like I mentioned in the first characteristic, everyone puts their best foot forward in the beginning. Gosh, new relationships can be so exciting.

Then, after a few months, you may start to fight or disagree. Putting your best foot forward is quite exhausting, to say the least, and is impossible to front for an entire relationship. (Unless, of course, you have someone who ends the relationship when the “newness” wears off, probably because they’re addicted to that “high” in the beginning of a relationship) So, sometimes after this “honeymoon” period is over, the relationship begins to get comfortable. Sometimes it hits a plateau. You know so much about the person, you’ve developed a routine, and things are just, well, easy in the sense that it’s secure.  No relationship can stay in that beginning stage forever. They all reach a point when that “high” wears off. This where the dynamic and evolving characteristic becomes so important.

The relationship should always be changing, for the good. You should be learning more and more about the person every day. What sets them off, what they like, don’t like, and how you can show them that you care in a way that they understand (also known as a “love language”). The people involved should want to try to make the relationship evolve into something bigger and better than it was the day before. I don’t think you ever stop learning about a person, even after years and decades of marriage. There’s always something to do to keep the romance there and to keep the relationship from going “stale” because of getting too comfortable or lazy.

And of course, the relationship should always be changing, becoming better, and evolving for the good of those involved and for the relationship itself.


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