Post-Resignation: Almost Three Years Later

This is the tenth and final part in a multi-part tale of my experience with Greek life and sororities. This is not meant to offend, put down, or upset anyone about being in a sorority or being Greek (I was one too!). It is just my recount of how I became Greek, what happened once I became Greek, and how I ended my affiliation. Please do not take this offensively in any way.

It’s been almost three years since I resigned from my sorority. I am often asked how I feel about it and if I think I made the right decision or even if I regret my decision.

The way I see it now, and the way I’ve always seen it, is that I was almost backed into a corner when the information was dropped about the “cushion” being added to our dues. I financially could not afford for someone else to be “free loading” off of my hard-earned money and in return not able to have fun and go to events myself. I feel like, at that point, because all of us that actually pay our dues, were forced to pay for other people whether we chose to or not. I simply did not have the financial capabilities to do so and therefore, I was stuck in a hard place with almost no other choice but to get out of it.

I wish that the advisors could have worked with me more to get me to stay. When I received the “good luck with your life” email, it was almost like a slap in the face to me. All of the time, all of the money, and all of the effort I had spent over the last two years didn’t matter. Why? Because I wasn’t a “popular girl” or in a position of leadership. Like I mentioned before, it’s not because I didn’t want to be, it’s because I couldn’t be. Not everyone is handed things in life, and I come from a family that believes that I must work for what I want, and sorority dues were one of them.

I hate that I turned some of my own sisters against me in my resignation. I wish that perhaps I could have written a truthful, but less harsh resignation letter. But I was upset, and it showed through my written words. (Which I often tend to do in my life, as I express myself best through writing) I could have easily made up a reason and written a letter that said, “Sorry, I can’t give much of my time anymore and that’s not fair,” but that’s not who I am. I am a terrible liar and cannot write something I don’t believe in or that’s not the truth at all. I understand why sisters were upset with me, but I truthfully do not think it was ever a valid reason to end friendships and a sisterhood that we all share no matter if someone is active or not.

I truly in my heart believe that once someone is initiated, they are then let in to a sisterhood that no one else can even begin to experience except with other sisters. Whether a sister ends that early or not, they were still initated. I still share all the secrets. I still know the ritual. I still know our password, our handshake, and what our letters stand for. I still remember my initiation at FSU and what we as a pledge class went through that weekend to get there. And because I ended my “active years” early, that doesn’t make any of that go away. Once initiated, always initiated. Once a sister, always a sister.

Looking back on it now, almost three years since I was an active, I only keep in touch with a few girls from my chapter. These girls have proven to me that no matter what happened with my membership, they still consider me a sister. They believe that I did what I had to do for myself, but they don’t resent me for it. They still consider me a sister, a friend, and someone they can trust. A few told me that I was an amazing girl in our chapter and it was so unfortunate that I had to go. To this day, I still believe that, and I almost pride myself on those words I was once told. I hate that people hate me. I hate that they hate what I did. I hate that they won’t talk to me for reasons that were really, at the end of the day, out of either one’s control. I don’t resent, hold a grudge, or have anger toward my chapter or the organization. What’s done is done and what is in the past is over and there’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change it. I’m sorry for any pain or hurt I caused anyone, but I hope that through this chronicle of my story, the truth is spelled out in a way that everyone can understand.

I still consider myself a sister, even now. I associate myself with those letters and still believe that I am a part of that sisterhood. I’ve met a few people through this blog who are in the same sorority at other schools and I tell them that I am a Kappa too. Because I believe I am. No matter what, I am a Kappa. No matter what, I was initiated into my family as a part of the Eta class of the Eta Eta Chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma.

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7 thoughts on “Post-Resignation: Almost Three Years Later

  1. Just an FYI…4 years after your resignation you can apply to be reinstated as an alum. Kappa has this set up for the exact reason as you said “Once initiated, always initiated. Once a sister, always a sister.” There is nothing that anyone can say or do to take that away from you. =) L&L

  2. Thanks for stopping by Mingle Monday – so happy to have you! Can’t wait to see your review on which blogs you visited!

    Love the photos on the side of your blog – too cute! 🙂

    xo,
    Meg

  3. I expected a much more dramatic reason for your resignation. I resigned from my sorority because they told me my liberal political views were unacceptable, conducted standards hearings about my political Facebook and Twitter posts, and tried to prevent me from hanging out with non-Greeks (including my long-time best friend). Your reasons made you sound like a spoiled brat. Greek life is NOT all it’s cracked up to be.

Please, challenge me!

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