All Things Wedding–freak. me. out.

Wedding season has officially arrived.

Actually, it’s been around for a while–and it appears to me that everyone around me is participating in this activity in one way or another. If you know me in any capacity, congratulations, you are either:

  1. Married
  2. Engaged
  3. In a serious relationship/borderline engaged
  4. A bridesmaid in someone else’s wedding

And um, where do I fit into that? I’m not married, certainly NOWHERE NEAR getting engaged (in fact at this exact second I’m not even dating anyone), and congratulations to me, I’m not in anyone’s wedding as of right now. (Which is probably better considering what I’m about to say regarding how I feel about all of this wedding riff-raff) Last weekend was one of my good friend’s bachelorette party. During the whole thing, besides having a headache (which I’m not sure is from lack of coffee, the hippie-like headband around my forehead, or from all the wedding hubbub in my very apartment), I started thinking about my wedding. Or, what could possibly be my wedding someday. (In a very very long time, I may add) Warning: this may offend a lot of people and I realize that, but again, this is my blog and your opinion is just as valid as mine!

  1. I don’t know anything about anything. Last weekend, I was literally the only person at this bachelorette party who was not one of the five statuses listed above. They were all talking about dresses, cuts, diamonds, types of princess/mermaid cuts, icing on a cake (apparently there’s more than one?), honeymoons, and I had absolutely nothing to say. One married person would say, “Oh, at MY wedding…” blah, blah. Not only am I not participating in anyone’s wedding, but I don’t know anything about any of this stuff to offer any kind of input into anyone’s conversation. And to be completely honest, I don’t really care, either.
  2. I don’t dream of my wedding day. I have honestly never really thought about it. I didn’t think about it at all until last summer, actually, when I was in a good friend’s wedding. Her wedding was on the beach and I honestly thought I would hate having it on the beach (so non-traditional), but I wound up loving it. The only thing I’ve really ever thought about my wedding is that I would like it to be outside. Preferably here, at Ellen Browning Scripps Park (in La Jolla, CA), my favorite place on earth:
  3. I don’t like the idea of planning things. I’m not a big flower girl, I don’t like centerpieces, I don’t really decorate, and what I do decorate is not wedding-ish. I like arty things in the wall in my apartment, weird sculptures, and frankly am just not very girly/planty when it comes to decorations. So what makes me think I’ll be able to decorate a whole wedding? I know there are people to hire for this type of stuff, but honestly, anyone who knows me well enough knows that flowers and wedding centerpieces are just not me. Isn’t a wedding supposed to reflect the couple?
  4. I also don’t know much about dresses. I am not a big fro-fro person. I don’t like layers in dresses. I don’t like trains. I don’t like poofs. I don’t like looking like a cupcake. The only thought I’ve ever given to my wedding dress is that I want a strapless dress that goes straight down, maybe to the floor. That’s it. I don’t want a big commotion. Preferably like this JCrew:
  5. With that being said, I don’t like attention. I don’t like the idea of an organ preluding a song that is played at everyone’s wedding and having everyone saunter down the aisle is so boring. “Right, together, left, together, right.” That is so traditional and so nondescript. I also hate the idea of everyone standing as I walk into the church or where ever it may be I have this wedding. I don’t want “all eyes on me” and I don’t like people staring at me. I realize at a wedding this is inevitable but really, that would make me so nervous.
  6. One thing that’s really getting under my skin is all this traditional stuff being done. I like to think of myself as a different person with originality. Not that there is anything wrong with tradition, but I don’t see the point in doing things at a wedding that literally everyone else does. Like removing the garter, tossing the bouquet, having a wedding shower where we play all the same games, a traditional bachelorette party with the same kind of traditional activities. Where’s the originality and specialty in that? I’d rather do something different and outrageous that no one else does on a daily basis for a wedding so it could be something that really was unique and special. Maybe that’s because I feel like that’s what I am as an individual. So is everyone else I guess, but again, shouldn’t a wedding be a reflection of the people getting married?

So, with all of this being said, I decided last weekend that the idea that seems the most fitting right now to me, considering how I feel and what I don’t know about weddings, is this: get married at city hall. It will save a lot of time, a lot of planning, a hell of a lot of my parents’ money, and a lot of stress. It seems like the sensible solution, for the time being.

Then I think about an actual wedding day–everyone only gets one (and even if you do get divorced remarried five times afterward, there is nothing like your first wedding) and it’s literally a day that is devoted to you. It is all about the bride and groom for that one day. Professional pictures are taken because it’s one day that you’ll never get back. One day where you can get the most dressed up and look amazing because it’s the most special day of your life: your wedding day. And getting married in city hall doesn’t leave room for any of that. No photographers photographing the whole day, no walking down an aisle, no reception, no cake. Just a simple saying of vows in front of other couples doing the exact same thing.

But that’s the thing about weddings–I feel like these days it’s blown so far out of proportion that it becomes so much about the wedding and less about the marriage. Isn’t the reason all this is being done? Two people making vows to each other for the rest of their lives, till DEATH do they part–together for better OR for worse. It does deserve a commotion, but I’m just not sure if I’m ready for a big one at that…

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3 thoughts on “All Things Wedding–freak. me. out.

  1. Tay….you’ve just put into words what I’ve been thinking ALL ALONG. I should really write a post myself on all this, although my relatives read mine and it’d probably tick them off. What? This coming from a bride to be? Yes ma’am! Things I hate: the all-eyes-on-me, froo-froo dresses, lots of flowers, talking about weddings, anything I deem tacky (tossing garter/bouquet), and the list goes on. With all the crap that’s gone on the last few months, I decided to really play everything down. We’re doing something small and intimate. I’m wearing a short dress and things will take place in the morning. I totally agree, so many things are blown out of proportion today that it makes me sick and makes me want to go to the other extreme and go to city hall. Andy wouldn’t do that, so we compromised with something really small. I could care less about the wedding day, the important part for me is the act of getting and being married and carrying out that marriage for life. Phew. Thanks for giving me a second to get that off my chest. (Haha, great minds think alike!)

  2. I agree on many fronts. I just fell into the tradition because I did not think I had an option. But I looked back after it was over and was sad that it was only 1 day because it was the best day of my life! But SO much is blown out of proportion in American society when really, it is only about the bride, the groom and their families, standing before God and pledging to God that they will stay together, no matter what. Simple–plain–and not froo froo.

  3. Hi Taylor, I found your blog through Megan’s and I just had to comment on this post to say thank you for expressing your opinion! I agree with so many points you talked about. I am 23, I graduated college last May and I am currently in grad school. I am in a serious relationship but we both agree we are not ready for marriage. Apparently, we are the only ones that feel this way. My best friend growing up and my roommate from college are just two of the seemingly hundred of girls that have gotten engaged since graduation. Thanks for making me feel normal – because weddings totally freak me out!

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